Jesus Couldn't Drum were a 1980s eclectic, experimental synth pop duo from Watford, England. They were part of the 80s British loose guitar pop scene. Formed by Jonathan Lemon (a.k.a. Jonathan Staines) and Peter Pengwyn. They recorded three albums and released three singles on the Lost Moment label. They toured extensively in Europe in the mid-eighties, did a BBC Radio 1 session, and were regularly featured on the John Peel and Dr. Demento radio shows. From the second album on, the duo featured Lester Square of The Monochrome Set on guitar. Other members, mostly for touring, included Alan Way, Jennie Cruse and Michele Allerdyce from Frazier Chorus.


The band amicably split in the late 1980s with Pengwyn continued recording as The Cat and Mouse Band, while Lemon joined The Chrysanthemums.